Work on you, for you.

What if I’m the problem?

( comes out of hiding)

Hii Besties,

How are you all doing presently? I’m doing good Alhamdullilah! Yes I know I’ve been absent for more than a year, Life happened and when I was supposed to get back to work I was extremely lazy, Hopefully, we get to talk about why I was absent some other time.

I would say that I’m just very grateful to Almighty Allah for sparing my life, my loved ones, and my beautiful readers till now! Because I think the Gift of life and good health is the most underrated form of blessing.

I’ve had a particular conversation with myself for a while now and I’ve noticed how humans are ready to always be the perfect person in a story

Most people understand the importance of personal growth and we all make New Year resolutions to work on aspects of our lives, However, the main priority of a successful year is self-development. What does Self Development mean to you?

I view it as embracing my imperfections, accepting that I have flaws and the ability to make mistakes, knowing fully well I have to work hard and take action to reach my maximum potential.

I believe the initial step here is to recognize that being human means you're not immune to making mistakes and can sometimes be quite wrong. It's perfectly normal to have imperfections.

Now that you know that you aren’t perfect, the next step is to look out for those toxic traits, I said toxic yes, why? because in as much as you don’t find fault in these behaviors, the people you move with are more likely to be inconvenienced.

There are so many behaviors that you may see as completely normal or as something that doesn’t need to be worked on but in reality, that’s a lie! It doesn’t make you a better person at all.

Manipulation, Gaslighting, Over - entitlement, Narcissism, Perfectionism, Rudeness, Bad Communication Skills, Jealousy/Envy, Selfishness, Nonchalant Attitude, Hot- Tempered and a lot more are behaviors you might possess but you just find it hard to accept!

Have you noticed that your close friends don’t like to tell you certain things even when it is bothering them because you are known to show little or no interest/ concern about it? Are you someone who flares up at the slightest argument, always misunderstands the point of whatever is going on, finds fault easily, or is rude unnecessarily even when not needed?

So now you’re thinking how do I even know if this is how I behave, this is where the Importance of having close friends come around. You must be wondering why your close friends don’t even argue that much with you or even pick arguments with you, How could they possibly tell you where they think you have a fault when you’re too closed up and don’t care about anything or you’re never ready to listen or learn? You make speaking with you on certain matters very difficult because you can’t just seem to agree that you’re either selfish or not even intentional with the relationship you both have. Talk to close people about how you’ve reacted to certain situations and how they felt about it.

Some of you love to listen to your friends hype you up all day but once it’s time to correct you or speak with you about something you’ve done you think they’re being too forward and don’t know you.

If you can notice when I mentioned you speaking to someone about how you react in certain situations I said “close friend” I believe that for someone to be your close friend you’ve attained a level of trust with the person and can take the person words for it, do not talk to someone about sensitive issues like these which aim is to “ dish out the harsh truth “ and cannot take it back, talk with someone that has a higher level of maturity because some people use this as an opportunity to prey their insecurities on you, be smart; so that can see where you are at fault.

Here are some tips I would like to share with you :

• Growth falls in regularly, Do not try to rush it and force yourself to accept things even you, do not know fully.

• Self-evaluation should be a constant thing, Judge yourself and take blame whenever you’re wrong even before anyone does it for you, it is much easier.

• Do not make growth an excuse to pick up bad habits, I’ve seen people go from being kind to very mean and rude just because they are growing and no one deserves to see that side of them anymore or because they weren’t treated nicely for being kind before. Always remember that the No 1 priority is you, so do what makes you a better person not because people don’t deserve it.

• Stop Justifying your bad behaviors and take accountability! Some people are very good at compromising what is not it and they think that’s the best way to handle it, You can do better trust me.

• Lastly, Pray to God to help on you this journey because this isn’t some trick that you can pull off on your own, It takes a lot of determination, and strength to be a better person, I pray that the Almighty makes it easy for you.

I am aware that some of you know your flaws but perhaps you feel like it isn’t affecting anyone or you see it as even a strength, In situations like these in the long run you would see why you should have taken note of it earlier, because not everyone can keep up with the fact that you are very manipulative or even greedy.

I want you to keep in mind that as much as you might feel an entirely different way about all that I’ve said, this is my say on this, Let me know what you think in the comment section, Do you have someone you want to discuss this with but you don’t know how to? Share this link with the person and every single person you think should read this!! Do not forget to tag me on Instagram at (_aishanana) if you gained one or two from reading this!

Side note: The person who sent you this wants you to know that they love you and would like to strengthen the relationship you both have by being more open-minded in a kind way with each other.

If you read till this moment, wow! I’m proud of you, thank you so much!

Get ready for my next post!

Happy New Month

Bye Besties 💗